To a New Life and a New Beginning

So let me start this blog by telling you a little about myself. I am 22 years old with two children. Soon to be divorced. I grew up in a small town with two parents, two brothers, and two sisters, one of them is my twin Melissa. I love Mel so much. She's always been there for me. Of course we had our rough times growing up, but what sisters don't? When I was 12 years old I was given a typical school assignment: write a paper on where you see yourself in 10 years. I was a typical ambitious young girl. I thought I would be graduated from college, starting on a new career. I always knew I wanted to help people. I believe I was in the 9th grade when I decided I wanted to be a nurse. So I graduated high school 3rd of my class, not too bad I thought. I got accepted to the University of the Incarnate Word, the best private school to go to if you wanted to be a nurse. After a year and a half of attending, I got accepted into the Nursing Program. I was one of about 100 people to get accepted out of the many hundreds that applied. I was ecstatic. I got married young but I was happy...at the time. My future started to change January of 2008. I had just found out I was pregnant and was starting to have complications. The doctor put me on bedrest for two weeks. The Dean of Nursing said that was two weeks too much and I had to de-enroll from school. It was heartbreaking to say the least but I would do anything to ensure the wellbeing of the baby. I thought to myself, "it's just for now. I can always go back later." I had a healthy baby boy who we named Marcus Daniel. Right before our second anniversary my husband dropped a bombshell on me; he said he didn't love me anymore. Overnight it seemed, my life had changed. It had come out of nowhere. We were only separated for a couple months though and we eventually reunited. After that happened though, things were never the same for me. My life really changed on June 17, 2010. I was again 5 months pregnant with my baby girl. That day will never leave my memory. That morning my husband had offered to go with me to my doctor's appointment, something he hadn't done the entire pregnancy and had barely done with my first pregnancy. I was happy and the day started off really well. We got home from the doctor's office and my son went next door to spend time with his tia. We decided to take a nap. I woke up from the nap and grabbed my cell phone to see what time it was, only it wasn't my cell phone. There was a new message. This was the most important text message I will ever have read because it changed my life in an instant and I will never forget what it said (by the way, the phone I grabbed was my husband's in case I hadn't made that clear): "hey babe. I look cute today. I love you and miss you and I'll call you when I get home."  He was cheating on me!! I couldnt believe it. And even as I was showing him the message, he was trying to deny it. I was furious. I stormed out and went and picked up Marcus from next door and went to H-E-B to pick up a prescription, only an excuse to escape the house. I was thinking the entire time I was driving and waiting in line. I finally knew that I couldn't believe his lies. I couldn't ever trust him. So I told him he had to leave. I cried the entire day. For weeks after that I would find myself crying at random times. In public I kept my cool and especially in front of family and friends and most especially in front of Marcus, I would hold it in. I believe that spending time with Marcus during those weeks kept me sane. I had been betrayed by a person I had completely trusted with my happiness.
My life changed for the better in mid-July. I started talking again to a man I had said goodbye to when I was in high school. Ironically I had chosen my husband over him. He had always been sweet to me and we had been talking for eight months when I broke it off with him. He was a friend of Mel's boyfriend and then of Mel's when she moved to El Paso. He asked me to be his girlfriend on August 17th, exactly two months to the day that I had found out my husband was cheating. He has a beautiful little girl as well. I found strength in him and confidence. I was even able to tell myself that I was beautiful and that I deserved to be happy. When I compare my relationship with this man to the relationship I had with my husband, it's completely opposite. I realize now that my husband would find little ways to put me down, to make me feel wrong or stupid if I ever questioned his actions or something he said. Well, I didn't realize it. I always knew that he did that, but I accepted it as a part of life. Something I could handle because I couldn't fathom a divorce at the time. My boyfriend always tells me how wonderful and amazing I am and I love that we can disagree on certain things and it just makes our relationship better. I can see our future together and it's wonderful and bright and happy.
 It's been 10 years since I wrote the paper on where I would be when I was 22 and although things aren't the way I imagined, they're even better. I have two beautiful, wonderful, amazing children that I love more than life itself and a handsome, awesome boyfriend that treats me better than I have ever treated myself. I am again starting on the path to become a nurse and recently became certified to be a medical assistant. I believe that if I hadn't read that message on June 17, 2010, my life would be completely different than it is now, but it would be much worse.